In case you didn’t get to catch the Grammys, or even if you just want to relive the glory, here’s my play by play commentary:
-Lady Gaga- glad she didn’t fall. Her and Elton = yes.
-Beyonce. Grabbing her crotch, wishing she was Lady Gaga. The marching guys you had on stage were pointless, and idk what you were thinking covering Alanis Morissette. I prefer you in Destiny’s Child. But you’re really pretty.
-Pink. The Cirque du Soleil thing’s been done. By you. Last year. But somehow you still pull it off.
-Oh lord, Black Eyed Peas is about to go on. I’m changing the channel. A 5yr old could write their songs. Fergie: hey guys, I’m late to my next nip/tuck, just repeat those last 4 words for the rest of the song and we’re good.
-Cut to Katy Perry. She looks bored.
-Lady Antebellum. Never heard of ya, but not too shabby.
-Hahahaha Jamie Foxx!
-Why does Kesha always look drunk…..probably cuz she is? Just a thought. Actually, my first thought was- Who’s that man?
-Katy Perry looking bored.
-Zac Brown Band. They’re like ‘America the annoying but good, beanie-wearing country band’.
-Taylor Swift. My guilty pleasure. Unfortunately you can’t sing live. It’s amazing what a little Auto-tune can accomplish in the music industry today. Stevie. Singing a Taylor Swift song accompanied by banjo is beneath you. But you have your signature tambourine and at least that stays on pitch.
-Katy Perry mad that she’s not performing. And looking bored.
-I don’t have 3D glasses. Guess I’ll just have to settle for 2D.
-I love trees too, Michael. Good cast of characters for this tribute. I could do w/o Carrie, but she stays on pitch. And brings her awesome white girl dance moves to the table.
-Paris & Prince. Cute. Creepy Michael look-alikes to the left…..
-Bon Jovi. This guy does not age. On the other hand, Ritchie’s lookin a little stout…. Idk who this leather-clad girl is, but her nasal cavity is going to explode soon. Use your throat to sing. Oh, and get off the stage, you’re ruining my Living on a Prayer/90s crush experience.
-Rhianna. Aren’t you from Barbados? You’ve been here too long, you sound like us. 75% less sexy. JK- you’re like Barbados The Barbie.
-Katy Perry. Yup….
-Haiti Benefit. Beautiful. Made up for Wyclef’s abrasive Haitian pride.
-What? Maxwell’s performing??? yesssssssss! Sorry, let me just gather my composure quick….
-Stop talking, Grammy guy. Where’s Maxwell???
-Dave Matthews Band. Oh how I loved thee in high school. You remind me of pot smoking and, well…..nope, that’s it. If I smoked pot. Man, I still really like you, I don’t care what people say.
-Russell Brand w/his arm around a bored Katy Perry. Though apparently she was way stoked to meet Snookie before the event….
-Ricky Martin. Talking is not your strong point. Stick to what you’re good at- shakin that bon-bon and livin la….well, you know.
-Ladies Love Cool James. I especially loved his work in Anaconda, featuring Jennifer Lopez.
-MAXWELL!!!!!!!! Mesmerized……and wishing you still had that fro….
-Les Paul. I own your guitar and I love it. You will be missed.
-Hmmmm, gold lame’? Never particularly flattering, is it?
-Quentin. Only you could pull off that shirt and acting black w/o people wanting to punch you in the face.
-Travis Barker. I will always want to be your wifey, no matter how many bad vocoder/auto-tuned rappers you back up. Eminem excluded.
-I swear to God, if Black Eyed Peas wins album of the year……
-And the Grammy for album of the year goes to Taylor. Oh snap. Betcha Sasha’s feelin kinda Fierce right about now……Ba-Dum CHING!
Honorable Mentions go to:
Imogen Heap’s Twitter dress
Britney showing up like this
and these 2
Oh, and just found another stunning picture of Kesha.
