DC#72 I have this thing where I have to open chips from the top. Or else I just sit there for a while & stare @ the bag, concerned.

DC#73 I wish I had a BB gun & lived on the 3rd floor, cuz then if I saw riff-raf causin trouble, I’d give them a scare/shoot them in the leg

DC#74 I wanna be so succexy.

xoxo

The Halfrican

DC#63 Pretty sure fresh pineapple is the nectar of the gods.

DC#64 whenever I’m driving and I see a plane taking off, I don’t care where its going, my heart longs to be on it.

DC#65 I really enjoy frosting cupcakes. Like more than the average person.

DC#66 Secretly trying to figure out a way to cover Lip Gloss by Lil Mama. Well….not so secretly anymore

DC#67 if you walk in front of my car w/o looking, & expect me to slow down, you’re sorely mistaken.

DC#68 I love the fact that I encourage my dog to smell pee-covered snow- ‘hey, Leeloo, what about here? Hey, here’s some, smell this one.’

DC#69 I find something terribly offputting about boys driving VW Bugs. PS- Nice daisy rims….

xoxo

The Halfrican

DC#58 I should def make sure to wear socks in the winter, cuz I think there’s a hole in my rain boot….

DC#59 I strongly dislike Tuesdays. But I’m pretty sure you guys already knew that.

DC#60 I thoroughly enjoy smoked string cheese. To the utmost amount of enjoyment.

DC#61 I’m always on edge when I watch zombie movies in my room. I’ll be fine, military intelligence runs in my blood.

xoxo

The Halfrican

-Lady Gaga- glad she didn’t fall. Her and Elton = yes.

-Beyonce. Grabbing her crotch, wishing she was Lady Gaga. The marching guys you had on stage were pointless, and idk what you were thinking covering Alanis Morissette. I prefer you in Destiny’s Child. But you’re really pretty.

-Pink. The Cirque du Soleil thing’s been done. By you. Last year. But somehow you still pull it off.

-Oh lord, Black Eyed Peas is about to go on. I’m changing the channel. A 5yr old could write their songs. Fergie: hey guys, I’m late to my next nip/tuck, just repeat those last 4 words for the rest of the song and we’re good.

-Cut to Katy Perry. She looks bored.

-Lady Antebellum. Never heard of ya, but not too shabby.

-Hahahaha Jamie Foxx!

-Why does Kesha always look drunk…..probably cuz she is? Just a thought. Actually, my first thought was- Who’s that man?

-Katy Perry looking bored.

-Zac Brown Band. They’re like ‘America the annoying but good, beanie-wearing country band’.

-Taylor Swift. My guilty pleasure. Unfortunately you can’t sing live. It’s amazing what a little Auto-tune can accomplish in the music industry today. Stevie. Singing a Taylor Swift song accompanied by banjo is beneath you. But you have your signature tambourine and at least that stays on pitch.

-Katy Perry mad that she’s not performing. And looking bored.

-I don’t have 3D glasses. Guess I’ll just have to settle for 2D.

-I love trees too, Michael. Good cast of characters for this tribute. I could do w/o Carrie, but she stays on pitch. And brings her awesome white girl dance moves to the table.

-Paris & Prince. Cute. Creepy Michael look-alikes to the left…..

-Bon Jovi. This guy does not age. On the other hand, Ritchie’s lookin a little stout…. Idk who this leather-clad girl is, but her nasal cavity is going to explode soon. Use your throat to sing. Oh, and get off the stage, you’re ruining my Living on a Prayer/90s crush experience.

-Rhianna. Aren’t you from Barbados? You’ve been here too long, you sound like us. 75% less sexy. JK- you’re like Barbados The Barbie.

-Katy Perry. Yup….

-Haiti Benefit. Beautiful. Made up for Wyclef’s abrasive Haitian pride.

-What? Maxwell’s performing??? yesssssssss! Sorry, let me just gather my composure quick….

-Stop talking, Grammy guy. Where’s Maxwell???

-Dave Matthews Band. Oh how I loved thee in high school. You remind me of pot smoking and, well…..nope, that’s it. If I smoked pot. Man, I still really like you, I don’t care what people say.

-Russell Brand w/his arm around a bored Katy Perry. Though apparently she was way stoked to meet Snookie before the event….

-Ricky Martin. Talking is not your strong point. Stick to what you’re good at- shakin that bon-bon and livin la….well, you know.

-Ladies Love Cool James. I especially loved his work in Anaconda, featuring Jennifer Lopez.

-MAXWELL!!!!!!!! Mesmerized……and wishing you still had that fro….

-Les Paul. I own your guitar and I love it. You will be missed.

-Hmmmm, gold lame’? Never particularly flattering, is it?

-Quentin. Only you could pull off that shirt and acting black w/o people wanting to punch you in the face.

-Travis Barker. I will always want to be your wifey, no matter how many bad vocoder/auto-tuned rappers you back up. Eminem excluded.

-I swear to God, if Black Eyed Peas wins album of the year……

-And the Grammy for album of the year goes to Taylor. Oh snap. Betcha Sasha’s feelin kinda Fierce right about now……Ba-Dum CHING!

Honorable Mentions go to:

Imogen Heap’s Twitter dress

Britney showing up like this

and these 2

Oh, and just found another stunning picture of Kesha.

Ravishing, isn’t she?

xoxo

The Halfrican

DC#51 One of the simple pleasures of having a day off is drinking coffee from a real cup.

DC#52 Being vegetarian during the holidays isn’t easy, but I’m really glad that Reeses Christmas Trees fall effortlessly into that category.

DC#53 I wish I were a highly trained assassin so that I could silently but brutally take out every annoying person in line in front of me.

DC#54 I secretly want to be Lady Gaga. Except all girl. And half black.

DC#55 I want a Rubik’s Cube.

DC#56 I don’t like red sauce on anything. Pizza. Spaghetti. Marinara for dipping. Nothing. Sick.

DC#46 I don’t dot my lowercase i’s or j’s, or cross my uppercase J’s. Damn the Man.

DC#47 I wish my name was Mrs. Charlie Day

DC#48 I used to want to work at Target cuz I like beeping things, but I could never bring myself to wear khaki’s.

DC#49 Never seen Nightmare Before Christmas.

xoxo

The Halfrican

DC #38 – My favorite thing to drink w/mexican food is orange juice.

DC#39 – I enjoy and very much prefer eating my muffins upside down.

DC#40 – I enjoy riding around w/my bass cab in my car. Makes me feel cool. Plus its hard to get out.

DC#41 – Sometimes I wish I had The Force so I could use it on telemarketers/phone solicitors. Or at least for some cool party tricks.

DC#42 I leave my Christmas tree up all year round. It makes for a festive & glitterness during the year, plus, I’m too lazy to take it down.

DC#43 Don’t let this rockstar exterior fool you. I’m really quite domestic.

DC#44 If I didn’t have to eat bread, I wouldn’t. Unless it was a sub from Jimmy John’s. Or those cheesy garlic biscuits from Red Lobster.

xoxo

The Halfrican

Daily Confession #32  I soccer mom save my dog now.

Daily Confession #33  Listening to the new Star Trek original soundtrack on repeat -their site- http://www.startrekmovie.com/ yeah I’m a nerd, & I love it

Daily Confession #34  Sometimes I use my Excedrin bottle as a moracca to accent upbeat songs while I’m driving.

Daily Confession #35  I don’t know how to spell ‘Moracca’. Morraca? Maracca? Marraca?

Daily Confession #36  I’m going to ask Santa for Zachary Quinto for Christmas. (Please humor my schoolgirl crush/infatuation/pseudo-obsession)

xoxo

The Halfrican

Daily Confession #27 I HATE Tuesdays. Hate.

Daily Confession #28 Sad because I sat too far away f/the remote & I’m too lazy to lean over to get it. Maybe if I use my telekinetic powers

Daily Confession #29 – Today I bought coffee at Caribou just cuz there were cute, tattooed guys working.

Daily Confession #30 I’m having wicked bad ‘I want to buy a puppy right now’ syndrome today

xoxo

The Halfrican

xoxo

The Halfrican